Skip to main content

Tall, Dark & Handsome!

by Oluseye Igbafe

 Tall Dark and Handsome!
Anyone who grew up reading romance novels, especially Mills and Boon or Harlequin Romance, will immediately recognize the trio of tall, dark and handsome, the trio that daydreams were made of. Every hero in those novels were men of steel, all were tall dark and devastatingly handsome. They simply took the breath of all the ladies away.

We all grew up desiring a tall, dark and handsome guy, it was on every young lady’s list of specification of the kind of guy she wanted. I mean, we walked around hoping a Denzel Washington or Idris Elba lookalike will come and sweep us off our feet. I mean those brothers are really fine!!! Well, it’s okay to still feel like that if you are like say 16? You don’t have to face reality at that age, you can just dream away...Yet many ladies never seem to grow up.



So what is wrong with wanting tall, dark and handsome? Nothing! That is, if it’s just a wish and not a real specification. Seriously, Tall dark& handsome is not something that should be high on your spec list for a spouse. A lot of young ladies have turned down many great guys with good potentials for not being TD&H(Tall, Dark & Handsome). Some ladies have even conditioned their minds not to respond to a guy who doesn’t fit the bill. So a guy who is not TD&H doesn’t even stand a chance with them. How sad! How shallow!

Let me ask you this, what percentage of decent guys are tall, dark and handsome? Not so many! So rather than go for the stable not so tall or not so handsome guys with good qualities, you join the long queue of ladies vying for the shallow, unserious tall, dark and handsome Casanova. Even after many heartbreaks, you still have tall, dark and handsome as a priority on your list. Isn’t it time to wisen up?


Let the most important qualities be top on your list. Let qualities like spiritual, consistent, hardworking, truthful, faithful, kind, thoughtful, generous and humble have the most significant value to you. Let tall, dark and handsome be like the sprinkles on your ice-cream, a nice addition but not the substance. 

Life is not a novel.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Teaching Your Children About Consent!

by Oluseye Igbafe


I watched as my children played teacher and student but noticed the younger one didn’t seem to be having much fun. “Are you enjoying yourself?” I asked her. “Not really”, she replied, glancing at her sister. “I don’t want to be a naughty student, I want to be a good one”. “But that’s not the play, she is supposed to be punished for not doing her homework", the older sister insisted. "But it’s a play", I said, "that means both of you are playing together and must enjoy it equally. Once one of you is not enjoying it, then it’s no longer a play, you are now using her as a toy in your play", I explained to the older sister. “Okay”, she grumpily replied and at that moment, it hit me!
This isn’t just about play, it’s about consent, a perfect opportunity to talk about consent. So I went further to explain that to them... “Playing is having fun; and when you and someone are playing, you must be sure you are having fun and the kind of fun you like. You should…

Sexualization of Children

As I waited in the departure lounge of a local airport, I noticed there were many children about but it was understandable since it was summer holiday. One other thing I noticed was the way most of the children were dressed. Most of them, especially the girls, were dressed in bum shorts, halter necks, cut off jeans, etc. The clothes in themselves weren't the issue per se; it was the overall look of the children that had me bothered. That was definitely not the first time I noticed it. 
A few months before, I had taken my kids to a birthday party and found myself in what could easily have been a night club for kids. Scanty clothing such as tight or very short clothes, bum shorts, long weaves, etc, seemed to be the dress code. I noticed my daughter glancing around her, probably wondering, "What in God's world are these other children wearing?" Or something like that. 


Not long after, the kids were called out to dance to the hit songs of the season - these songs in my opi…

Parents Gone Wild: Bleaching Children's Skin

by Oluseye Igbafe


I heard about this for the first time a year ago at the birthday party of a friend's child. One of our mutual friends walked up to me and after pleasantries, said to me:

“Sis, your daughter is very pretty oh.” “Thanks”, I replied.
"What cream do you use for her?” She asked
"Cream?! I use Johnson Baby lotion."
"Only?! What do you use to bring out her colour?” she persisted.
“I don’t really understand you,” I answered her, “What colour am I bringing out?”
"No oh, you should use something that will bring out her colour. Don’t you know she will be prettier (sic) if she has fair skin?”
I cringed inwardly. All the while, I had struggled to believe she couldn’t possibly be saying what I thought she was saying. “You mean I should start bleaching her skin? At what age and why would I do such a crazy thing?! It’s not necessary my dear,” I answered her firmly. "It is oh my big sister. Especially for a girl but not bleaching; haba, not even toning! It…