by Oluseye Igbafe
“I will be happy once I get married”
“The only reason I don’t feel fulfilled is because I am single”
“If only I am married, I will be the happiest woman in the world”
A lot of ladies have tied up their happiness to getting married; they believe that being married is synonymous with happiness. They have unknowingly postponed their happiness till whenever they get married. Well, the truth is, getting a husband won’t make you happy. Yes! You read that right. Getting married won’t make you happy! Just take a look through many Facebook women groups and you will see that while a lot of people are happily married, a lot are equally miserable in their marriage.
A lot of married women can attest to the fact that “Marriage in itself cannot be the source of your all-round happiness" Don’t get me wrong, being in a good relationship or marriage can bring you happiness but it’s not the main source of your happiness. If you can’t be happy before getting married, then soon after marriage you will become unhappy.
The truth is you need to take responsibility for your own happiness or joy, otherwise the state of your relationship or circumstances will determine your level of happiness for the rest of your life.
Depending on a man to make you happy is a major task; no man can do that. He can only be a part or contribute to your happiness. The burden of giving you happiness always will make you a clingy, needy and emotionally dependent partner. This can even drive the man away.
Learn to be happy, whether you are in love, out of love, in marriage or even when it’s rough; learn to realize that happiness is a choice! Yes, it’s a choice and does not have to be controlled by circumstances; even more, realize that you control your own happiness. A lot of ladies have given themselves high blood pressure and even driven themselves to early graves because of their dependence on their husband/marriage for their happiness.
Let the source of your happiness be from God. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength. That way, your husband becomes a part of a fulfilled and happy you. Handing over your source of happiness to a person, even your husband, is setting yourself up for heartbreak.
You are setting him up to standards that are too high for any mortal. Every man will at one time or the other, offend you, annoy you or do worse, if he isn’t a believer. Will your happiness fluctuate based on that? Yes, getting hurt is inevitable but even in our hurt we can choose not to allow the sadness overwhelm us. We can choose the silver lining, to rejoice in the hope of a better tomorrow.
Married or Single, you need to take responsibility for your happiness. Be happy because you have a God who cares for you, be happy because His joy is within you. Be happy to be alive, be happy to have your health, your friends, be happy you a have family that loves you, be happy you have a future, be happy to witness today, be happy you can read, be happy that you have airtime to be online (lol).
There are hundreds of reasons to be happy but the best is because God loves and cares for you. A great relationship is a union of two happy people. Stop waiting for a (or your) husband to make you happy, be happy today....
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