Skip to main content

Why Getting Married Won't Make You Happy!

by Oluseye Igbafe

“I will be happy once I get married”
“The only reason I don’t feel fulfilled is because I am single”
“If only I am married, I will be the happiest woman in the world”

A lot of ladies have tied up their happiness to getting married; they believe that being married is synonymous with happiness. They have unknowingly postponed their happiness till whenever they get married. Well, the truth is, getting a husband won’t make you happy. Yes! You read that right. Getting married won’t make you happy! Just take a look through many Facebook women groups and you will see that while a lot of people are happily married, a lot are equally miserable in their marriage.

A lot of married women can attest to the fact that “Marriage in itself cannot be the source of your all-round happiness" Don’t get me wrong, being in a good relationship or marriage can bring you happiness but it’s not the main source of your happiness. If you can’t be happy before getting married, then soon after marriage you will become unhappy.

The truth is you need to take responsibility for your own happiness or joy, otherwise the state of your relationship or circumstances will determine your level of happiness for the rest of your life.

Depending on a man to make you happy is a major task; no man can do that. He can only be a part or contribute to your happiness. The burden of giving you happiness always will make you a clingy, needy and emotionally dependent partner. This can even drive the man away.

Learn to be happy, whether you are in love, out of love, in marriage or even when it’s rough; learn to realize that happiness is a choice! Yes, it’s a choice and does not have to be controlled by circumstances; even more, realize that you control your own happiness. A lot of ladies have given themselves high blood pressure and even driven themselves to early graves because of their dependence on their husband/marriage for their happiness.

Let the source of your happiness be from God. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength. That way, your husband becomes a part of a fulfilled and happy you. Handing over your source of happiness to a person, even your husband, is setting yourself up for heartbreak.

You are setting him up to standards that are too high for any mortal.  Every man will at one time or the other, offend you, annoy you or do worse, if he isn’t a believer.  Will your happiness fluctuate based on that? Yes, getting hurt is inevitable but even in our hurt we can choose not to allow the sadness overwhelm us. We can choose the silver lining, to rejoice in the hope of a better tomorrow.
Married or Single, you need to take responsibility for your happiness. Be happy because you have a God who cares for you, be happy because His joy is within you. Be happy to be alive, be happy to have your health, your friends, be happy you a have family that loves you, be happy you have a future, be happy to witness today, be happy you can read, be happy that you have airtime to be online (lol).

There are hundreds of reasons to be happy but the best is because God loves and cares for you. A great relationship is a union of two happy people. Stop waiting for a (or your) husband to make you happy, be happy today....

Thanks for reading my post, I would love to hear your views, Please drop a comment.


  1. I think that women feel they've not accomplished anything because they are not married. It's like a stigma, like they have a problem that's why they ain't married. It's this feeling that paralyses many and pauses their lives as they wait to get married.

    1. Thanks for your Comment Ugochi, you are very right.

      Our society makes women feel like failures because they are not married and that is why they need to resist that feeling and refuse for their life and their happiness to be defined by their marital status.

  2. Sadly, a large proportion of our society equates happiness and fulfilment to getting married. This notion has left many single ladies and guys unhappy, and most often, severely depressed. For this reason a lot of people have jumped into marriage with the hope of getting that "happiness" they long for. Love the write up!!!

  3. All articles about marriage looks like writing a descriptive essay about candy life for young ladies from the countrysides. There are many contrarory tips in different magazines: in ones - how to get married faster, in others - how to get a rich groom. That is why so many people are unhappy and so many couples are broken.

    1. Thanks for your comment Eva.
      You are right, there is a lot of information out there and its up to the individual to decide what is best for him/her. This article aims to encourage singles to live a full life and not hinge their success in life, happiness and value on their marital stautus.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Parents Gone Wild: Bleaching Children's Skin

by Oluseye Igbafe

I heard about this for the first time a year ago at the birthday party of a friend's child. One of our mutual friends walked up to me and after pleasantries, said to me:

“Sis, your daughter is very pretty oh.” “Thanks”, I replied.
"What cream do you use for her?” She asked
"Cream?! I use Johnson Baby lotion."
"Only?! What do you use to bring out her colour?” she persisted.
“I don’t really understand you,” I answered her, “What colour am I bringing out?”
"No oh, you should use something that will bring out her colour. Don’t you know she will be prettier (sic) if she has fair skin?”
I cringed inwardly. All the while, I had struggled to believe she couldn’t possibly be saying what I thought she was saying. “You mean I should start bleaching her skin? At what age and why would I do such a crazy thing?! It’s not necessary my dear,” I answered her firmly. "It is oh my big sister. Especially for a girl but not bleaching; haba, not even toning! It…

Teaching Your Children About Consent!

by Oluseye Igbafe

I watched as my children played teacher and student but noticed the younger one didn’t seem to be having much fun. “Are you enjoying yourself?” I asked her. “Not really”, she replied, glancing at her sister. “I don’t want to be a naughty student, I want to be a good one”. “But that’s not the play, she is supposed to be punished for not doing her homework", the older sister insisted. "But it’s a play", I said, "that means both of you are playing together and must enjoy it equally. Once one of you is not enjoying it, then it’s no longer a play, you are now using her as a toy in your play", I explained to the older sister. “Okay”, she grumpily replied and at that moment, it hit me!
This isn’t just about play, it’s about consent, a perfect opportunity to talk about consent. So I went further to explain that to them... “Playing is having fun; and when you and someone are playing, you must be sure you are having fun and the kind of fun you like. You should…

Sexualization of Children

As I waited in the departure lounge of a local airport, I noticed there were many children about but it was understandable since it was summer holiday. One other thing I noticed was the way most of the children were dressed. Most of them, especially the girls, were dressed in bum shorts, halter necks, cut off jeans, etc. The clothes in themselves weren't the issue per se; it was the overall look of the children that had me bothered. That was definitely not the first time I noticed it. 
A few months before, I had taken my kids to a birthday party and found myself in what could easily have been a night club for kids. Scanty clothing such as tight or very short clothes, bum shorts, long weaves, etc, seemed to be the dress code. I noticed my daughter glancing around her, probably wondering, "What in God's world are these other children wearing?" Or something like that. 

Not long after, the kids were called out to dance to the hit songs of the season - these songs in my opi…