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Showing posts from June, 2016

Child Abuse - Are You Unknowingly Abusing Your Children?

by Oluseye Igbafe

Most parents are aware of the rampant rate of child molestation and abuse and as such, take strong measures to protect their children against it. However, some parents unknowingly abuse their children themselves in a very subtle manner that is quite widespread. I want to share about the emotional abuse of children.

Most of us have imbibed the harsh African culture of talking strongly to our children. In trying to keep with the biblical injunction not to spare the rod, we sometimes go overboard. Emotional abuse often stem from a cycle; people who were raised in verbally charged and emotionally abusive environments meet out the same treatment unconsciously to their own children.
This means most of us are prone to abusing except we deliberately make the choice not to. If you grew up in a household where screaming or violence was the norm, you may not know any other way to raise your kids. Judgment, blame, shame and guilt-riddled verbal attacks are destructive, with unwante…

Emotional Abuse of Men : Yes, Men are Victims too!

by Oluseye Igbafe

While relating with a couple recently, I came to appreciate the fact that men are also abused. It sounds almost unbelievable, I mean, there are so many instances of women being victims of domestic violence, verbal abuse and emotional abuse perpetrated by men, that the concept of men being abused seems absurd; and the number of possible victims, negligible.
The truth is, it is not as negligible as we think. The stereotype that the man is stronger and therefore always the initiator of every form of abuse is totally wrong. This prevailing image of “man as aggressor” leads to the common belief that he’s somehow “earned” his abuse by provoking his abuser.
While women can easily share their abuse stories and receive support, love and encouragement, men cannot.  Society has set such high standards for men and what defines masculinity that to admit to being abused is akin to admitting to being a weakling, a failure and less of a man. Most men therefore live in denial of the abu…