Skip to main content

10 Warning Signs Of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

by Oluseye Igbafe

Recently, there has been an increase in the projection of the fight against domestic violence especially in the light of the woman allegedly murdered by her husband. The social media has become a great tool in creating awareness about the ills of domestic violence as well as creating an avenue of outcry for the victims.

There is however is a less popular yet very deadly form of abuse that many are daily subjected to. Some even have no idea that they are being abused. This form of abuse is called Emotional Abuse. While the Physical abuse batters and damages the body, Emotional abuse destroys the spirit and the soul. Ultimately both can lead to death.

So what is Emotional Abuse? Emotional abuse also called Mental or Psychological abuse involves a regular pattern of verbal offense, threats, bullying, constant criticism and intimidation. It often precedes physical abuse.

All forms of abuse take their toll on the self esteem of the abused but Emotional abuse or Physiological warfare- if you prefer- does extensive damage to the self esteem and self worth of the victim. It also causes emotional instability, sleep disturbances, withdrawal, depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, mental imbalance Fear etc.

Sometimes the victims of the abuse don't see the mistreatment as abusive and therefore remain in the relationship perpetually. While this can be done by either gender, studies seem to suggest that over 75% of abuse is done by men.

So if you are not sure what constitutes Emotional abuse, here are 10 warning signs

1. Publicly Humiliating or Embarrassing you: They degrade you publicly or ridicule you in front of others. This also involves calling you names, treating you shabbily, shouting at you, saying demeaning things to you in the presence of others. This is sometimes shrouded in jokes and you are accused of being too sensitive or lacking a sense of humor.

2. Constant Put downs: Using derogatory terms like stupid or foolish, dumb, daft etc or Using a sarcastic voice while saying things like "Aren't you supposed to be a graduate?' Shouldn't you have enough sense to figure that out? Etc They give you names, unpleasant labels and often make cutting remarks.

3. Withdrawal of Affection: Denying you love and support, refusing to meet your emotional needs. Refusing to pay compliments or show any form of endearment. Treats you like a sexual object, more interested in the process than the person.

4. Refusing to Communicate:  Refusing to talk to you and respond to you. Ignoring you when you want to talk, refusing to make eye contact or giving mono syllable responses. Refusing to tell you things that are happening thereby causing you many embarrassing moments. They deliberately shut you out and give you the silent treatment.

5. Hypercriticism/ Constant Disapproval: Subjecting you to highly unreasonable standards which others aren't subjected to. Finding fault in everything you do, seeing no good in you and dismissive of all your accomplishments and successes. They are always right and you are always wrong. Even your thoughts, opinions and feeling are judged as wrong while they never take responsibility for any wrong doing. Nothing you do is ever good enough

6. Lack of Support: They never motivate you to achieve your goals or be the best yet when you go for it; abusers become critical and cynical of your success. Rather than support you, they ridicule you and demean your efforts. When you make great achievements, they do not recognize or celebrate it rather they mock it.

7.  Isolation: Sometimes abusers drive a wedge between their victim and their friends and family. They try to keep you from your support system or keep them away from you.

8. Threatening: They always make threats. These threats are intended to breed fear and grant them control. They threaten to leave you or find another partner. They make threats to deal with you financially.

9. Extramarital Affairs or Provocative Behavior with the Opposite Sex: While withdrawing affection and support from their partners; they are quick to lavish such displays of affection on others. They sometimes engage in extra marital affairs or inappropriate relationships with the aim of provoking jealousy or hurting their partners.

10. Unreasonable Jealousy:  They become jealous of any relationship that gives you joy. They are quick to suspect and accuse. This jealousy can even be extended to your family members, same-gender friends, colleagues etc.

If you recognize any of the above signs of emotional abuse in your relationship, you need to be honest with yourself so you can regain power over your own life. If you aren’t yet married, it might be best to walk away if you are married, and are in an abusive relationship, I urge you to get start by getting some counseling and professional help and guidance.

Did you find this article beneficial? If yes, please drop your comments and remember to share!


  1. take into account that whenever you e-book a bangalore escorts bar ladies in Bangalore, you can maximum perhaps include in intercoursewith her. locating money after sex is truly prostitution, and foContact me 08123770473, 8147349718

  2. when making a decision to be our purchaser, we can assure you the first-class carrier, there's to make you sense glad. each of our escorts is lovely and versatile of their methods so irrespective of your goals are, you will get them fulfilled right here.
    Contact me 08123770473, 8147349718 Visit us


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Parents Gone Wild: Bleaching Children's Skin

by Oluseye Igbafe

I heard about this for the first time a year ago at the birthday party of a friend's child. One of our mutual friends walked up to me and after pleasantries, said to me:

“Sis, your daughter is very pretty oh.” “Thanks”, I replied.
"What cream do you use for her?” She asked
"Cream?! I use Johnson Baby lotion."
"Only?! What do you use to bring out her colour?” she persisted.
“I don’t really understand you,” I answered her, “What colour am I bringing out?”
"No oh, you should use something that will bring out her colour. Don’t you know she will be prettier (sic) if she has fair skin?”
I cringed inwardly. All the while, I had struggled to believe she couldn’t possibly be saying what I thought she was saying. “You mean I should start bleaching her skin? At what age and why would I do such a crazy thing?! It’s not necessary my dear,” I answered her firmly. "It is oh my big sister. Especially for a girl but not bleaching; haba, not even toning! It…

Teaching Your Children About Consent!

by Oluseye Igbafe

I watched as my children played teacher and student but noticed the younger one didn’t seem to be having much fun. “Are you enjoying yourself?” I asked her. “Not really”, she replied, glancing at her sister. “I don’t want to be a naughty student, I want to be a good one”. “But that’s not the play, she is supposed to be punished for not doing her homework", the older sister insisted. "But it’s a play", I said, "that means both of you are playing together and must enjoy it equally. Once one of you is not enjoying it, then it’s no longer a play, you are now using her as a toy in your play", I explained to the older sister. “Okay”, she grumpily replied and at that moment, it hit me!
This isn’t just about play, it’s about consent, a perfect opportunity to talk about consent. So I went further to explain that to them... “Playing is having fun; and when you and someone are playing, you must be sure you are having fun and the kind of fun you like. You should…

Sexualization of Children

As I waited in the departure lounge of a local airport, I noticed there were many children about but it was understandable since it was summer holiday. One other thing I noticed was the way most of the children were dressed. Most of them, especially the girls, were dressed in bum shorts, halter necks, cut off jeans, etc. The clothes in themselves weren't the issue per se; it was the overall look of the children that had me bothered. That was definitely not the first time I noticed it. 
A few months before, I had taken my kids to a birthday party and found myself in what could easily have been a night club for kids. Scanty clothing such as tight or very short clothes, bum shorts, long weaves, etc, seemed to be the dress code. I noticed my daughter glancing around her, probably wondering, "What in God's world are these other children wearing?" Or something like that. 

Not long after, the kids were called out to dance to the hit songs of the season - these songs in my opi…