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Showing posts from November, 2015

It No Longer Takes A Village!

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There is an African proverb that says, “it takes a village to raise a child”.  The meaning of this is that its not just the parents of a child who trains or corrects a child, other adults who are believed to be well-intended can also correct the child. 
When I was a child, this proverb was very true. You wouldn't dare misbehave when your aunties or uncles were around, it was almost the same as having your parents present. They would mete out the same and sometimes fiercer punishment for your mistakes. They would correct you and if you dared talk back at them, they would tweak your mouth just like your mum would.
Teachers, uncles and neighbors felt free to correct an erring child; of course they would also applaud when you do well. As a matter of fact, you would refer to all your aunties, mum’s friends and older women as "Mummy". They would also refer to you and ask after you as they would their child. Your parents were never in doubt of their r…

Why Deceive Yourself?

Fred wants God to avenge him of his wicked boss! He says his boss hates him.  "Oh God, avenge me", he prays. Fred was in denial of his incompetence as a employee.
"I'm not really fat and I don't eat much" Anita has said for years, "Its my genes and my big bones". But looking at her plate today, she realized that the truth is she eats too much.

"He will soon change",is the lie Justine has toldherself for the past 2 years instead the beating has gotten worse. The last time, her husband tried to choke her to death, still she says he will change.
I can go on and on with instances of self-deception. Reading this now, you may wonder if people reallydeceive do themselves. Yes they do! In fact, you will be amazed at how often people deceive themselves. What does it mean to deceive oneself? You are in self-deception if you don't tell yourself the truth, if you refuse to accept the obvious or try to wish things away; if you make excuses rather tha…

Let It Go!!

Gavin & Moyo have been married for close to 6 years, yet, every time they have any form of quarrel or conflict, Gavin will reel out and fling at Moyo every wrong thing she has ever done. He would list out all her offenses and insult her with it. Moyo was tired of it all, a simple disagreement and issues she thought they were done with would be flung in her face. All attempts to get Gavin to stop this has failed. 

Chris sat by his Mum's bed; she had just been diagonized with stomach cancer. Chris knew where it came from: the bitterness in his mum. Even as she as sick is, she can't stop talking of the things his father did. She remembers everything his father ever did even ad far back as 40 years ago; she remembers and recounts every detail. He had told her many times she needs to let it go but seems to have become a part of her. 

In every relationship we find ourselves, it's inevitable that there will be conflicts. However, in marriage more than any other, there are bound…

When Your Child is Different - #BeyondTheComplexion

Almost every couple dreams of having their own baby; a perfect cutie with eyes like Dad's and an angelic face like mum's. A new person that elevates you to a higher level of responsibility and introduces you to the delightful, life altering, sometimes hard and expensive world of parenthood. On the vain side, a little one to show off to the world, especially on social media; a live "doll" (if you will) for mothers to continue their childhood games with but ultimately, a joy to the family on both sides. 
So after the long nine months of waiting and expectation, of longing to meet your baby, finally the baby pops out and here comes a white baby! You longed for a fair-skinned almost half cast baby but fate has done extra and you have an albino. 
This post covers not only for albinos but for any kind of difference a child might come with. The joy is quickly replaced with fear and sometimes shame. Some families are torn apart from that moment. 
As the family grapples with the…