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Showing posts from September, 2015

Sexualization of Children

As I waited in the departure lounge of a local airport, I noticed there were many children about but it was understandable since it was summer holiday. One other thing I noticed was the way most of the children were dressed. Most of them, especially the girls, were dressed in bum shorts, halter necks, cut off jeans, etc. The clothes in themselves weren't the issue per se; it was the overall look of the children that had me bothered. That was definitely not the first time I noticed it. 
A few months before, I had taken my kids to a birthday party and found myself in what could easily have been a night club for kids. Scanty clothing such as tight or very short clothes, bum shorts, long weaves, etc, seemed to be the dress code. I noticed my daughter glancing around her, probably wondering, "What in God's world are these other children wearing?" Or something like that. 


Not long after, the kids were called out to dance to the hit songs of the season - these songs in my opi…

#10 Things to Discuss before "I Do"

Courtship is very important and necessary for any intending couple to observe, if they want to enjoy their marriage. When I listen to some couples share their problems, I sometimes wonder if they really courted. Courtship enables you to know each other's strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes; it enables you affirm your decision to marry the person or confirm your need to run far away from them.

However more often than not, couples spend their courtship preparing for the wedding rather than getting to know each other. I recently had a conversation with a young protegee of mine who is preparing for her wedding. While discussing, I asked her fiance's preference on some issues concerning the wedding.
She replied, ‘I don’t know ma”.
“How come you don’t know? Didn’t you both discuss it?” I asked.
“No, we didn’t ma”, she answered.
"Well you should have discussed it so both of you are on the same page”, I told her.
I asked a few more questions about her fiancĂ© and she would eith…

Men! Oh Men, Wake Up!

When I go through most of the posts on some women online groups i belong to , I can't but ask myself, "what is happening with men? What is happening with husbands?"

From telling lies and cheating to physical and emotional abuse, so much is happening.

There is a plethora of write up on and for women:
* How to love your husband 
* How to seduce your husband
* How to keep your man and so on.

Women now wake up early to wear makeup, roam the house in bum shots, starve themselves to a size four and perform all manner of gymnastics just to please their husbands; yet, we see more posts of women undergoing problems in their homes, loosing self esteem, suffering and smiling. Kilode?!

I dare say, there is a dearth of guidance for men on how to keep a home; a rarity of male role-models, and a lack of programs and conferences for men and their role in building a successful marriage. 

Building a successful marriage is not just the
responsibility of the women! How can it be? Men's seminars…

Whose Money is it Anyway?

James and Shirley were college sweethearts. After NYSC, Shirley got a better paying job than James. They got married and the difference in their income became an issue. Shirley was of the opinion that whatever she earned was her money. She was reluctant to spend her money in the house, especially on things she believed were the man's responsibility. 

In frustration, James quit his job and started a business; the business faltered greatly and his earnings plummeted to nearly zero. Shirley found it unbearable having to pay the expenses of the house. She gave James money but humiliated him in doing so. 

James's mother had to live with them and when she saw what was going on, she spent her days praying and fasting. She and James would hold vigils every other day. God answered James and he got a multi-million Naira contract. 

Today James is immensely wealthy. Although he takes good care of his wife, his value on his mother seems higher. She has a wing in their new house and travels ab…