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Showing posts from 2015

Starting The Year Strong !!!

Whenever a year draws towards its end, we often hear many messages on finishing strong and that is good. However, I believe it is equally important, if not more important, to start the year strong, with focus and momentum. What plans do you have to start 2016 strong?
We often leave a lot till the last day of the year, only to come up with hastily made up new year resolutions, which are usually, mere wishes. Within a sort time, we back down on these resolutions.  To start strong requires a deliberate effort on your part.
Here are some suggestions that I believe will help us start the year strong.
1. Retrospect: One of the greatest ways to learn is to learn from past in order to prevent repeating the same errors. Look back into 2015, not with sorrow or regrets but to learn. What did you set out to do and what did you achieve? What didn't you achieve and why? What errors did you make and what corrective measures have been put in place to prevent a repeat. 

The law of madness is doing the…

#12 Fun Christmas/Holiday Things to do on a Budget

It's Christmas and it's time for fun and celebration. Fun and celebration costs money right? Not always, with most people on a tight budget due to the current economic situation, I want to share creative ways of having fun with your kids at little or no cost.
1. Make your own decorations.  - Buy colored card boards,crayon and gum. Cut out interesting shapes and stars then design and colour them. String the shapes and put it in your children's room. Making decorations with your children is not only cheap but also helps nurture their creativity and strengthen your relationship with them so go for it!

2. Be your Own Santa or Wiseman: Taking the kids to visit Santa expensive? If you have a Santa costume, the children would love Daddy acting Santa,especially if you surprise them with it. If you don't have one, don't worry, use your wife's wrappers and turn into one of the wise men from the east.
3. Make your Own Christmas Treats: Bake cakes, cookies or make chin chin w…

#7 Things Christmas Should Be to Your Children!

Christmas is to me, the best holiday of the year. Growing up, Christmas was a time to travel and have fun with my cousins, uncles and grandparents. A time to visit Santa, get new clothes and eat till I drop. What is there not to love?
Most of us still do these things but today, I want to share my list of #7 things to do with your children this Christmas. 
1. Christmas is about Jesus: it's amazing how some of us do so much for Christmas yet never sit down to minister to our children about Jesus, tell them not only about his birth in a manger but the reason he came and let  them invite him into their hearts and  lives.

2. Christmas is about Receiving. God gave us Jesus and so we received him. Children too should receive gifts at Christmas. It doesn't have to be an expensive one, even N500 can get you something. Wrap it nicely and give it to them. If you can afford it, go the whole "write to Santa" route. The most important thing is to give them gifts.

3. Christmas is …

Babes, Wake Up!

After my post titled Men Oh Men, Wake Up! I got accused severally of being biased and not addressing my fellow women. So here is a letter to the few that are dragging us back (tongue out!).
Dear Babe,

You need to sit up o, what is wrong with you ke? Why are you like this? 
1. African Magic Channel: You have watched almost all the movies in Africa. From morning to night you are glued to the TV, you pick up the children late from school because you are watching TV, haba! Even the Cinemas haven't seen as many movies as you. You burn food, leave the house barely tidy, shout at the kids all because of films. You need to discipline yourself, There is a time for everything.
Plan your time and do what need to be done. Let the film be the reward for a productive day not your activity for the day.

2. Phones/WhatsApp/BBM: If only this expertise in pinging would be transferred to other things you will be bigger than Bill Gates. Every minute you are pinging! This is why your husband never t…

#10 Signs You are the Appetizer!!

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A young lady recounted to me in tears how she got to hear from others that her boyfriend was getting married to another lady; she heard less than a week to the wedding. She had dated him for almost a year, yet she couldn't tell she was not the main course. How did she miss all the signs that she was the appetizer or if you prefer -the side chick?
The truth is this, a lot of gals deceive themselves and ignore the obvious. Just in case you are one of the naive ones, here are 10 signs that you are only the appetizer:

(Please note that these are more applicable in steady relationships - 3 months upwards).
#1. He often misses your call because he is either busy, driving or the reception is not good. He lets your call ring out and then returns your calls much later.

#2. You can't visit his place unannounced, you must call in advance first. Most of the time, you go out or he at your place. It's probably because he doesn't want you to run into his main…

It No Longer Takes A Village!

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There is an African proverb that says, “it takes a village to raise a child”.  The meaning of this is that its not just the parents of a child who trains or corrects a child, other adults who are believed to be well-intended can also correct the child. 
When I was a child, this proverb was very true. You wouldn't dare misbehave when your aunties or uncles were around, it was almost the same as having your parents present. They would mete out the same and sometimes fiercer punishment for your mistakes. They would correct you and if you dared talk back at them, they would tweak your mouth just like your mum would.
Teachers, uncles and neighbors felt free to correct an erring child; of course they would also applaud when you do well. As a matter of fact, you would refer to all your aunties, mum’s friends and older women as "Mummy". They would also refer to you and ask after you as they would their child. Your parents were never in doubt of their r…

Why Deceive Yourself?

Fred wants God to avenge him of his wicked boss! He says his boss hates him.  "Oh God, avenge me", he prays. Fred was in denial of his incompetence as a employee.
"I'm not really fat and I don't eat much" Anita has said for years, "Its my genes and my big bones". But looking at her plate today, she realized that the truth is she eats too much.

"He will soon change",is the lie Justine has toldherself for the past 2 years instead the beating has gotten worse. The last time, her husband tried to choke her to death, still she says he will change.
I can go on and on with instances of self-deception. Reading this now, you may wonder if people reallydeceive do themselves. Yes they do! In fact, you will be amazed at how often people deceive themselves. What does it mean to deceive oneself? You are in self-deception if you don't tell yourself the truth, if you refuse to accept the obvious or try to wish things away; if you make excuses rather tha…

Let It Go!!

Gavin & Moyo have been married for close to 6 years, yet, every time they have any form of quarrel or conflict, Gavin will reel out and fling at Moyo every wrong thing she has ever done. He would list out all her offenses and insult her with it. Moyo was tired of it all, a simple disagreement and issues she thought they were done with would be flung in her face. All attempts to get Gavin to stop this has failed. 

Chris sat by his Mum's bed; she had just been diagonized with stomach cancer. Chris knew where it came from: the bitterness in his mum. Even as she as sick is, she can't stop talking of the things his father did. She remembers everything his father ever did even ad far back as 40 years ago; she remembers and recounts every detail. He had told her many times she needs to let it go but seems to have become a part of her. 

In every relationship we find ourselves, it's inevitable that there will be conflicts. However, in marriage more than any other, there are bound…

When Your Child is Different - #BeyondTheComplexion

Almost every couple dreams of having their own baby; a perfect cutie with eyes like Dad's and an angelic face like mum's. A new person that elevates you to a higher level of responsibility and introduces you to the delightful, life altering, sometimes hard and expensive world of parenthood. On the vain side, a little one to show off to the world, especially on social media; a live "doll" (if you will) for mothers to continue their childhood games with but ultimately, a joy to the family on both sides. 
So after the long nine months of waiting and expectation, of longing to meet your baby, finally the baby pops out and here comes a white baby! You longed for a fair-skinned almost half cast baby but fate has done extra and you have an albino. 
This post covers not only for albinos but for any kind of difference a child might come with. The joy is quickly replaced with fear and sometimes shame. Some families are torn apart from that moment. 
As the family grapples with the…

How Sharing a Bed May Kill You!

Molly groaned, “It can’t be morning yet!”  Her body screamed; she needed just one more hour of sleep. Half asleep, she pressed her phone to check the time. The blazing screen light hit her eyes and she squinted; it was 3:00 am. The sound of the door slamming was followed by the closing of the drawer. “Tony! What are you searching for at 3:00 am?” she asked her husband “Did I disturb you? I am..." Tony responded

Molly barely heard him, her mind was filled with rage and she thought of all the things she could say to him. Biting back the bitter words that tried to escape her lips, she dragged her cover cloth and pillow and went to the guest room. As she sank into the bed, she realized she needed to move out of her matrimonial bed and fast. 

She remembered the doctor’s report in her bag. Her low energy levels and poor immune system was due to lack of sleep. She had been susceptible to so many things that the first Doctor had sent her to take a HIV test. Thank God for experienced doctors! …